When do you say no?

So we have recently been going through a battle with our three year old. It started when we moved into our new house last summer. Gradually he had worked himself into sleeping with us every night. It got to the point where my wife wouldn't want to be woken up in the middle of the night so she moved his bed into our room. He would start the night there and then crawl into our bed in the middle of the night.

After talking with some friends about this I started hearing horror stories about 12 and 13 year olds still sleeping with their parents. I started having visions of this third wheel, who likes to kick and slap and move all over in the middle of the night, being a permanent fixture and it was a scary sight. Since I was the one taking issue; I was the one that had to take the action as well. One night I was talking with our son and I told him he was getting older and someday he would need to move his bed back into his room. I was laying the groundwork for moving him back to his room when he turned 4. Well he said he didn't want to do it tonight but that he would do it the next night. Surprised I agreed and let him sleep with us that one last night. The next night we moved his bed back into his room before bedtime and went through the normal ritual. My wife didn't know about our agreement and was a little upset (I'll get to that in a minute), but she let me continue with what I was doing (although visibly upset about my method). Our son slept in his bed all night and everything was great; until the next night. The next night was a real chore getting him to bed and he threw a fit. I stuck to it and told him he had to sleep in his own bed. He woke up a few times throughout the night but each time I went in and comforted him and he stayed in his bed. It has been a few weeks now and it hasn't gotten much better. He still asks every night if he can sleep with us, I still tell him no. He still gets up at least once in the middle of the night for "something", and I still have him stay in his bed. But it's hard.

So in talking to my wife I found that she likes having our son sleep with us. It's comforting to her. She wouldn't mind at all if he were to continue sleeping with us until he's 12 or 13. She was upset with me because she wasn't privy to our previous nights' conversation, but once we got through that she still wasn't happy because she would rather let him sleep with us than be woken up in the middle of the night.

So I'm not quite sure what to do at this point. Our son still wants to sleep with us, I think my wife probably wants him to sleep with us, but I don't want our 2 year old joining the party and I don't want our 3 year old sleeping with us into his teen years. Does anyone have any insight to offer?

Drugs...

This week my 15yo daughter called home needing a ride after school. Apparently she was hanging out with some friends after school on campus and they decided they were going to smoke pot and asked her to come along. Her really good friend wanted to go with them and didn't want to go alone. My daughter didn't want to go along, but she also didn't want to leave her friend alone either. Not knowing what to do she called her boyfriend who promptly hung up on her and called his father. He called her back and told her she better call her mom right away, which she did.

Words can't really express how proud I am of our daughter for making a good choice. We are also extremely proud of her boyfriend for his decision making process. That night we took the kids out for ice cream to talk about what had happened and open the air for anything else they might want to say. It only reinforces the knowledge that being involved in your child's life is extremely important. You might think you know what's going on in their life but they're pretty good at keeping things to themselves if you're not asking the right questions.

There are many reasons why this is an extremely important thing that has happened; but this really stands out for us because our daughter has been struggling academically this year. She's at a new school in a new school district and it's hard work to fit in and be accepted. Her decision to call her mom was a pretty big one on so many levels. I'm sure this won't be the last tough decision she will be faced with, but hopefully our reaction to this one will help her feel comfortable in the future. She was grounded for most of the school year and we recently gave her most of her privileges back and she has really stepped up and started working hard not only in school, but at home as well. Just when we were starting to worry about a situation coming up like this going the wrong way, she comes through and really makes us proud.

Grades...

A year ago if you would have told me my daughter would have 2 F's and a D I would have said no way. She was on the honor roll in middle school and seemed to have a good work ethic. The beginning of the year was hard for her being at a new school in a new school district and we cut her a little slack as she had a lot going on. Once soccer season was over we figured she would have more time to catch up with things. She did a pretty good job to keep her grades up, but she was still a long way off of her honor roll grades of last year.

So we did the natural thing that most parents do when bad grades come up, we grounded her. At first it was from her cell phone, then it was from TV, now she can't hardly do anything. It seems a bit overkill to us but it doesn't seem like anything is working. We really feel like we're losing her to laziness. She's a smart girl and she can do a lot when she puts her mind to it, but she seems to be resigned to living a lazy life. She has little motivation to do anything above and beyond. A lot of people tell me that's just the way teens are these days, but I'm not typically one to be satisfied with the status quo. It's just hard to instill your beliefs on someone else. We are at a bit of a loss as to what to do next. My wife and I are seeing a councilor in search of some professional advice.

For the time being we have tried to take a more positive approach. We're giving her more opportunities to win things back and really trying to get her to put forth some effort. It seems like it's working but it's just not consistent. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the councilor says...

Mona Vie

It's been a while since I have posted. Life has taken quite the turn with High school starting. Our latest bit of excitement has been a new product that has touched our family called Mona Vie. A relative introduced us to it a while back and it seems to have helped our family in a few different ways. My wife feels like she is getting to sleep faster, I feel like I'm getting better sleep, and our oldest son is turning the tide on his bout with constipation. Believe me, that last one was the biggest one for us.

The thing that really hit home with this product was my wife's aunt. She was diagnosed with colon cancer earlier in the year and started chemotherapy treatments. She went through two rounds before finding the product and through her third round she had more energy and felt much better, even though it was her strongest round. I think we're a better than average family when it comes to family nutrition. We eat a good share of organic fruits and vegetables every day and we try to limit our fat intake. We don't eat fast food or drink soda and we have very few unhealthy snacks around the house. I was a bit sceptical about the product at first, but now that we have all been taking it for a while I wouldn't give it up. It's definitely not cheap, but I don't think you can put a price on the health of your family.

I'm starting to sound like a salesman... I'll leave it at that for now and direct you to their website for information if you're interested:

Our Friends

The reason I'm sharing this information is because I really feel like this product is helping our family. Not only with its nutritional content, but to educate our children on the importance of eating healthy and why we like to eat organic products. Our daughter doesn't always agree with our decision to eat healthy, but as an athlete she typically follows our lead when it comes to nutrition (mostly because we do the cooking). As a Millennium Dad I take great pride in caring for the health and well being of my family, and if you're reading this, I assume you do too. Now if only this product can help me get back on track with this blog... we shall see.

The Swim Party

So the swim party went a lot better than I had expected. Most of the kids were very respectful and I think everyone had a really good time. It was interesting to see how the kids interacted. There were a few different groups of friends and it was nice to see the diversity of friends my daughter has made.

The biggest surprise for me was that almost everyone ended up swimming. I guess she really does know her friends after all...

The Birthday Party...

The teen had a birthday last month but we were unable to have a proper party due to other commitments. Tonight's the night we planned to have a gathering for her friends. It should be interesting. She elected for a swim party so we rented the local community center pool for her and 50 of her friends (including the current boy that she likes). The latest count is around 40 people, and it looks like roughly half of them will be swimming. I tried talking her into doing a dance party or some other type of gathering but she was set on swimming. Teenage girls don't always like to hang out with their classmates in their swimsuits... Nevertheless I'm sure all the kids will have fun, but I'm just as sure I'll have something to write about tomorrow.

The ear infections...

This week the boys each got ear infections. The 2 year old started complaining of an ear ache so I took him to see the doctor. It was late in the evening so we had to see the on call doctor. Sure enough, he had an ear infection. The doctor gave us some sample chewable tablets to tide him over until the next day and we were off. I remember thinking I should have him take a look at the youngest one too, as any sickness seems to spread through the family like wildfire, but I didn't. The next night the youngest had a terrible night. My wife took him to the doctor the next day and he had infections in both ears. I should have trusted my gut.

I was talking with a co-worker about my trip to the doctor and he joked that he didn't even know where his kids doctors office was. It made me realize why I was labeled a "Millennium Dad" in the first place. I really don't feel that I'm that unique, which is why I started this blog in the first place, but I don't spend a lot of time with other people's families either...